Positive Parenting – 4 Ways To Influence Your Children

Have you ever considered the impact and influence you are having on your children’s lives? Yes, you can influence your children and make a difference in their lives with positive parenting.

When I was between the ages of 5-7, growing up in a poor neighborhood in Brazil, I remember my parents teaching me how to do certain chores, such as how to draw water from our family’s well and wash the dishes. I clearly remember standing by my parents and older siblings as they carefully drew cold crystal clear water from the deep well in front of our house and carried it in buckets into our small kitchen. Perhaps you never had to learn how to draw water from a well as a child, but you might recall some unique things you learned as a child from your parents or caregivers.

Someone once said that to teach is to touch a life forever. When you take the time to teach your children new skills and model positive behavior by using age-appropriate content and methodology, you are empowering and influencing them in ways you cannot even imagine. So, I’ll share with you 4 ways that you can teach and influence your child’s body, mind, heart, and soul.

In the book, The Dream Home: How to Create an Intimate Christian Marriage, my husband and I included a chapter on parenting with purpose and we pointed out that “the Bible describes Jesus’ development holistically when it says ‘Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men’ (Luke 2:52 NIV). Therefore, we can see that Jesus grew in these four areas: physical (stature), psychological (wisdom), social (in favor with man), and spiritual (in favor with God).” 

Teach your children and influence their physical development

From an early age, we try to teach our children how to take care of themselves. We encourage them to feed and dress, put on their shoes, brush their teeth, wash their hands, etc. As they grow older, we soon realize that there is much more we need to teach them besides the basics. We need to help them develop healthy habits for life, which may range from exercising, eating right, sleeping, and avoiding drugs and alcohol.

Since children are inquisitive and observational learners, parents need to pay attention to how they take care of their own bodies and practice self-care. The more your children see you taking care of yourself, the more they understand the benefits of it. Soon, they will learn that taking care of their body goes beyond practicing basic personal body hygiene and it has long-term benefits.

Here is a practical tip: Take your children to the Farmer’s market with you. They will have the opportunity to see fresh fruits and vegetables and begin to appreciate a healthy diet.

Teach your children and influence their mental development

Children’s mental development involves learning how to think critically. Critical thinking is achieved through reflection, observation, and communication. As Christian parents, we teach our children what we have learned from our experiences with others and with God and we hope that our children will be able to understand and apply the lessons we have taught them from the time they were little.

We intentionally teach our children to pay attention to their thoughts, how they see themselves, others, and the world. We believe that engaging in critical thinking can indeed empower our children to make better decisions in life and avoid following the crowds and engage in groupthink.

Here is a practical tip: Together with your children, pick a situation, and systematically analyze it with them based on the Christian beliefs that are important to your family. If you prefer, you may watch a movie with your children and then, talk about it in light of your Christian faith.

Teach your children and influence their emotional development

Helping our children exercise emotion regulation and self-control is an important part of parenting. Children need to be taught how to identify their feelings and understand that their emotions are not permanent; they change. Helping our children develop emotional regulation and self-control takes patience and guidance. The goal is to help them learn how to calm themselves when facing adversities, identify options, and possible solutions to a stressful situation.

It is important to highlight that parents can model self-regulation and self-control to their children during the time they are trying to discipline them. Parents’ ability to control themselves and de-escalate a situation, such as a child’s tantrum, misbehavior, emotional outbursts can serve as a lesson of self-control and self-regulation to their own children. Remember, children are observational learners. This can be a precious teaching moment.

Here is a practical tip: Help your children identify their feelings, talk about them, and how to deal with feelings or emotions appropriately. You may even use the “Feeling Wheel” to help your children identify their feelings.

Teach your children and influence their spiritual development

Teaching our children about God is our responsibility as parents (Deut. 6:4-7). But, teaching them about God is more than reading Bible verses to them, taking them to church, or making sure they have memorized all books of the Bible. These things are great, but they are not the ultimate goal.

We want to allow our children to see Christ living in us and through us. Christian positive parenting is about living out what we teach our children so that they can see our commitment to God played out in our lives. Hopefully, this will create in them a desire to do the same; to develop a relationship with Christ and allow Him to touch their lives the same way He has touched ours. Christian positive parenting is about allowing Christ to use our lives to teach our children about who He is.

Here is a tip for you: Pray with your children and discuss life’s matters in light of spiritual biblical truths.

Raising children is a privilege and a responsibility that can bring joy to you as you teach and influence your children. Check out our video on How to create a positive relationship with your child. I believe you will find it helpful to you.

Write in the comments something you do to teach and influence your children.

Denise Moitinho, PhD