How To Let Go of Anger: A Christian Perspective + 20 Tips
What Is Anger?
Getting angry lately? Anger is a normal human emotion. It is our reaction to a perceived injustice and a response to a perceived threat. We experience anger when we are frustrated, hurt, tired, anxious, worried, stressed out, disappointed, or even depressed.
When we are angry, we tend to say harsh things only to regret it later on. Some of us may keep things inside and, then, explode in rage like the incredible Hulk. Others may hold on to it for an indefinite time.
Anger, just like an iceberg, hides a large unseen part beneath the surface. In fact, experts describe anger as a secondary emotion. This means that there are multiple emotions that feed anger.
The Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Perspective
The biopsychosocial-spiritual model helps explain anger in a more comprehensive manner. Biologically, when we are experiencing anger, stress hormones including adrenaline, and cortisol are released creating the fight or flight stress response. Psychologically, we know that our thoughts affect our emotions and behaviors. In fact, thoughts of frustration and unfairness feed anger. Socially, anger affects our relationships negatively. It can create interpersonal problems and even destroy marriage and family relationships. Spiritually speaking, although anger in itself is not a sin (Eph. 4:26), the way we handle our anger can lead to sinful thoughts and actions.
Bible Verses about Anger
The Bible provides wisdom on how to handle anger appropriately. Read these verses carefully and reflect on the powerful principles that can help you understand and deal with anger.
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV) – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
Ephesians 4:26 (NIV) – “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
Colossians 3:8 (NLT) – “But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.”
James 1:19 (NIV) – “Be slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 14:17 (NLT) – “Short-tempered people do foolish things.”
Proverb 15:18 (NLT) – “A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them.”
Proverbs 16:32 (NIV) – “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”
Proverbs 17:27 (NASB) – “He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”
Proverbs 25:28 (NLT) – “a person without self-control is like a city with broke down walls.”
Proverbs 29:11 (NLV) – “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man keeps quiet.”
20 Tips to Overcome Anger
There are many techniques to help you deal with anger. You may find some of these tips helpful to you.
- Be aware of your emotional state
- Identify what triggers your anger
- Use “I” statements to express your feelings
- Be assertive without being aggressive
- Pay attention to your tone of voice
- Practice breathing techniques to breath correctly and slowly: inhale and exhale
- Take a break and go for a walk, or listen to calm down
- Listen to relaxing music
- Change your angry thoughts into positive ones
- Count your blessings
- Practice self-reflection and ask yourself: “How will what I’m about to say solve the problem and encourage people?” Or “What events or situations trigger my anger?”
- Change your focus by engaging in an activity that requires your focused attention such as cleaning the house, doing yard work, reading a book, etc.
- Pray and open your heart to God. Ask Him to bring change into your mind and heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to control your life and give you a new perspective on the situation.
- Learn conflict resolution techniques and implement them
- Count to 10 or even to 100 before responding
- Take Time-Out as a break to cool off
- Engage in physical activity such as jogging or running
- Practice forgiveness and do not hold grudges
- Practice self-care
- Practice journaling by writing down your thoughts and feelings
Anger is a normal human emotion. However, if you are often getting in trouble because of your anger or your anger is affecting your marriage, relationship with kids, friends, or co-workers, we recommend that you talk with a Christian counselor about it. There is hope!
You do not need to hold on to your anger. You can overcome it!
Check out our powerful videos on anger!
Which verse has spoken to your heart?
Which tip are you going to practice today?
Drs. Elias & Denise Moitinho